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We Need To Talk About Office Banter | Reimagination at Work S2:E1

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Allegra and Mo get right into the topic of office banter, or BANTS. But can classic bants harm colleagues? What impact can it have on your relationships and mental health? Is there a sinister side to it all?

To reimagination this is the codcastwhere a t tin, everything you think you know about the wode of work andbusiness and makes you think differently about the TACIS CARANathings. Well, so that we can teres new way of doing things and new atingbusiness that Wat's herby and inclades everybody Maas et o one of the cocracesof which the space, which is a DMSC and occasion consultancy and I'm joying Wy.My head, I created I ATOA YO te. You and series t coca series toyes, Eseho Webeen Mwe, just been he you in the world do to keep you onTatin Yeahsay, constantly changing at the moment from they sa. We can't relieit's difficult still by anything, because I can masion no is probly in O,be outdat. I was on te Booko. It O me there's a big companitalking about howgreat of his culture is and how we sh'll be getting back eahand. I don'tKnoti'm not always resparsed why there was a hugegeatowork from the government campaign. Whensh everybody's been workingromoinly anyway, that that's kind of wild subject, but Ithink that sports, a lot of Debou, was an ad from detal which, when Boroerallon reasons it was an aor, the underground on the underground and ittalked about it Wa. The idea was to talk about things that people aremissing about e Oufface, howeverd and whoras. IHE Mis find thing liething youmean th, receptionist, Pasworse Huryoutyeah, I mean honestl, see. WomanAwell I did for me is work as a MATTERFRAXI AV ME OO. My nobeall, myworld obsession there o o what women thiy think are going to work. W T Alittle an cat, baand h that really got my Santion worwher.One of the things that people are missing is proper Aro, two agreethatbean at on the Undergan andw to rerot and anracit differently, Gon apoint to allthings: a beneficial nocommeting to the officeogos ofice ut ocan, agn, Ta Baeendays on the Alam and, having more time your day and lhowing to Ai Aon tethings the office culture that don't wear people, but it was realting thatjumpd ous me anlosy Bani, wile Robas like sa it's arely Hampos. They on borrow forall the wrong reasons we soow to space. One of the things that we work on is isincreasive marking in communications Onhoi as an absoe Primi, a npof, notunderstanding the people that you was looking to ycompletely missing people's genuineexperience and some people Ryfica peopl. I think tha is a greatthing about the office, but everybody else Os thankandit was just enid. Itwas such a huge rapturse because to same new people, Tas Suc, an a meativeword, reay negative, it just d to me. It remindin me of all o those things Igot in over the years in an office, because I knew that if you peole wayenesing out Youo, he canvise that you...

...can say that's no accestible but ho Raon reminderbng, really Gino Pul a poin thes things out, because I knew Iwouldn't be ygrer IDID. I was wasy. If someone stop beingdifficult and Bossyand Lli think four pointing things out Saif I was to really Avera, then I justknew I would never request my career and I was like well. I want to progressmy career but Yeon Withan, oe, proper banrs, Bu Nan to Mak it nces a citbed,far abuse really horribleange Eo uing. Iprobaby haven't talkd about early Nosa at it a Xopor, whever Aterw, I'm notgoing to say Howere Etetra, where I was going e to always hall me hurryanderand he th ones, ne he woul say De aeerthing and aterytime objected. Hejust thought it was hilarious and even in the meetings or roofs of wherPeopwere wit, he was last at it. I was in a situation where I could a medaler.You Know Gon's way, ob whatever I gon Mak es to know Qut senoersans. If Ididnt, I would have been taking a Masore somy seee and she would wouldn'thave lost him much longer in that company Edid. I and I w look backoneizing. Why did I go up with ther and I one hes on really is just warninonthe bast popet and I'm sure you have example Ta? Oh God I mean M pt, Ta Reartothearms, because it justI wo Onsein e prices were is bad yeah, just cod wordreay on a piece of Nasty Ihave, no pai it couldnunstead of asanexcuse Soi nois foine to be successor raystem. Whenever, because its BARANCEAN is t e excusing all it is just horendous. I mean one of my one. I veryfist jobs, oss M. I can May to thousnd N and andtwenty two. They couldn'tpassin Tyo fare because I was the only woman was to send around on on email,because this was they weron email. They were justenbrown, Mell, th him and no clitph of OPON tones all steles from Pool Gillsand stuff like that. Makelay com spell yeah, Yo, know ca irected. It me tomake me feel: Uncomfortable Toku, feting, Polin, an sax and Reading Kin,a graphic stuff and was like. Oh I just have to. I have tobe Ahay with this, because I can't be difficult. I have to be. I befol. Ihave to Sha my my cold, a I down with it and I'. You know, I'm out for IOFFand so I'L tind of get bod to the joke and is not ht an. I got with Si Asiinthat job I wet to another jobe. Whether Tebo was I mean he. He Ra had anBsession with the wite Bo and he's going bout a Constande and he reallyused as an excused to be purpisfa provocative with ier being an her. Hecould kind of tryand and U everybody and made him feel intimatises uncossible, because Thashow ye Goin e a howeve. So he wished Maweerealy by Omens Yokno he, but at one point he was goingon in the middle of the office about how it would be. He would find it realyfun to bees, just ous of me and them Brav me e Wouldhea, Ever Ben. He just thoughtthat was, and I sai I washat's, no radiat Hewas at home, an Goyys justbace in it and amaze re any big thing about how I wasn't. I was being youknow, pretty difficult in Awwuad, because I was being fun.

I sofarbecom Thinin Oall, where theywere in n, where people had them and it's not just one and all things would reto me. Sometimesthere were other people, so there was a lot of an on come towet, T im where and most people older Unsi. There was a LO.You know a about me, onb married at the time, an in when Youre going to getmarried and it wasn't just me there was other people that had been o therbeevally. They were Jo at as about older people as well, O sure you canhear you anymore aonthing, like there's JS, realy, all out in eopen and the culture n. all these paces is whereI think people I gues. Other people feel iealy go oer ther and Os alonewhat.I would do I think, if very varse challenges on behalf ofthe people, andso I think it just leads to a really uncomfortable existence in the officefor a lot of people and you have to desire. You want to do that and if youcan do it tin is it comes oicult to te car for fo,your Seln Hav, minor, anboy als and then, if youere, not tocare for nyoneelse, if you could ove laughing alonl en you was til participating in it, soit just tands up perpetuating this whole culture of Wthis is what we do.We all Wan of each other in really horrible way. You just rmind torevellit them about being don't be married. Anthing Hi is how fast ot theone playe Y war, a Ganari, the any women and ould the guys per fire quitinto a PA and Heever slap with me. First call the money. No an I found outHews, always friends upon the guy. He was like Yona ous toufag and I was likeI dot know so in it does Yeahi mean Om greed. Ing Comfortable isgoing to work, ther, there's so many ools of things like that, and no wedon't hear anyone that are going to have exancles and things like that.That Ha has been a commonplace behavior in a lot of officers, not all or thisno anamn in the law. I think that's why, when I saw that debtor a foars and hiswholedrawinge ga back for your es, I just struck such an or every now. Whyare we forcing eveybody Bat intomaculture that was amined toeveryone? The office was created for a certain world where you know certainbeon around he oars and Youkno that'. The way it was an. It was all veryregimented to undene nine to five n Aing Tat, not the world we live in nowand so woyis an is troy to push people past O at hund of colre and in the Birthwaye. We need to look a Whi,aculture has existed and why I been exectable for things to be that way,and you know- and I can think it again, an exammine of nocompany that I worke T. I was talking to a friend about recently, who alsowere there wereoenly Disgusse, how you woros Erv for the toilers or crying intoilers, because of these a ensetos in the ofice and Wenew that you could byeant Owate Weres Agan, you could you had tolike ga o cor on the floor andGetinto the toyers and kind o Zawoe howfor. You could fat en orn ago and wewere young at that time in e poty Bain, our twenties o that time and thefactthat t was what we s work. That was what we ougt. I think a lot of peoplehad ta eperet by hat cing in e Toyisic. I think it's something that o peopleare aware, a Baing, a thing about what enough Hore, when you think about it,does just something thats P, Oliday stay life is sometimes I'm going tohave to get of and have a little cryenn subgected ord of this Theye stuffle anlike the fact that that steemed well, it's realy, difficult 'cause I or somethings I poi it Wa over there. But then again I didn't know what to do to dealwith. Er and Iev wanted a career an to jaw, and we didn't know how to dealwith it, o some of e teer. That me, you know no, I say still, but when you'reyoung, you don't know, what' Do ont, say you. You know athing you're in areally genial position, an it's much...

...hard, Mose, unique Gitoracoss, the GuyIm nookay with that, but where, when you're a geniordepening o these people for your career and you progression nd and who jo younos is the Tano Nethe Guy. He you know, went on in the middle of Toe ofice AbouRearing Me Anto. I I didn't die so to him, because if he pie me, I can' keepwiver e Di. I ubeat myself up so much. No, when I goback at the things I put up with the things that I've laust off the thingsthat I' kind ofe gone along, where an the things ie said to other people aswell n replay overan over my head and met Myself Ouf, I'm like, why did youdo that? And you know, why did you? Why is you not? Why did you make out? Youwere okay with it. Why? Why did you av any were friends with these people anyou were okay with it. The thing is, you know I was genuinyfor Ento using my job and not having any money and, and was a we've, been SIconditions to think th. This is just how where I is- and you do you justhave to go it over there and everything your bus says guys and alsoy. If thewomen as well, I feel it we've been really conditioned to think we have tobe pleasant and we arery UN and noice and we can't be aggressive. You know who sont oon wouldbe difficult and aggressive and unpleasant and hat henot okay, so its eingrained and ask to just smile and be people pleasing and going on withherthat we ylyou say we don'tlswy, don't have the language to say this is notacceptable to me. Howyo et treats Ian Son way small and go along with thesepeople that wear. I may relie what stod up myself Derin my career, but Ithink, fall those reasons I often belaboled as possy aggressive. You knowwode and I think that's something that doesn't get laled on other people whoMaones perpeturating their bans and Theyan behavn CER WAYSAN is fine. Theycan be Wesiv and the AL PD, but COSO leaders wher think if he's none, Oyoent a minority and he's down offisain his way, Yo do gare. Those lals arebeing and Warsi Osee. I Col on those diys and it's fun of him. Whatyo seethat's come out in a Cono QOTCA FIGICA D, And if knowing that is Ocan t say,am and is horly rare culture where people can say when something isn't:jusoffending them isn't exastible to them and it not bedemed as they contTak a drink, an tey 'cause, a a N ands. If you like te saying too much, hebridgis God, you think h'd be able to Tak Yo d about it. You know thos Nthingit's. How do you have cultures where people understand Hasto respect?Other people you neething is that it has o Stall Te Peo te Halk bearewillingto listen, an being open to hearing that people are okay with Itatualy a ismoney and they it doesn't feel like Hay andbeaware. How it makes people feelaohowecause, I think, doesn't go home. Go Go, be wearing's feelings. Now, BuYhow yourself feel impast how we show up to work and how much they put intomy work and how matebated they are preducted. They are and Olsmany howsuccessful they're going to be at their job. So I see people feeling good andfeeling Halfa when they walk in the doors is realing boant, so in waitingtit by being simplean and crea RMI Li o Dofeel, safe anhappy, Israelin Posen,and I I was reading something i Sul just theother day. abouthow important safety is psychologically to hol yourbrain operate because wer designed you know, tonareally to beable to o know when we were in Figt or flight Majo. You know when we werefacing predators or whatever you know,...

Urain or Russianal brain. If I could beshot down, because he just I think, go situationl, you know, kill this agetiedeal with it, and we no, you, know we're not having any Russian footbresces. So when we 're in a say, envioment anresting is when we are aeto be creative and innivative an and problem solving and ordered those kindof skills comes. The foolls are actually creating the environment wherepeople feel safe, Ambrnas and Ha Israeli important and and leaders haveto be committed to making that happen in their organization. That really is Teeman more suspectoRoundin the business is about reimagining whe is increasing it foreveryday. Everyone feels sensof belonging. Everyone fo expected anvalue for the commitment they made him a contributioningre and Hthi wholething: Boutbehavior and Ipetrite such a Masi Parte, and it's about nee, justunderstanding that the wage gamo Ou Yor in creers is for them as you're happyin day and then theybeoted, and that doesn't just mean when the Te, alwaysin the workrays with within anyworomryas. Well aost people feelmotrusted happy. You know saying to say on the feeling that I think they can tproduce really good work regardless. andthing is about freeding and culturesthat incrude everyone otadimn it ver difficult, because we you e Weekas somuch presson on ourselves. Only God I shoula Bnno me should have donesomethin. It can't be on the people who are in these minority. Grapes are inthose genior positions, INA more vulnerable recition that carwill be onthem for to change these cultures. That's got to come from the people whoare in the more Dominan y impoitions and a o he a experiencing that quitit b. If you are experiencing that, Ithink one of the things Ha have done, because I I found it really difficultat the beginning of my career forof, the reasons we talked by you now moregenier and it was- is motivcourse Younga, blesed, Veri Iam, a better isAgoda B stat of myself. I think the thing I have fons atuldbeing able to just beg reany cal, an clear in themissin that you give back into saying what he just says is Asa. You know bothering me, I'm notcomfortable with that, an being able to draw thecap, ountries and say in a wayTae Ecan't, say she's, being emotional she's being discimine as Wul say, Hocome e to Tel cratewhy. You said that because IOC with that, so I enSimilartenne ithink Catta trying o e emotional win o giving the feebarAsdoyuwois they Wuldabire Oinmeeti Iave, been dined during the Manzin ta migt,say something wod like An. We have a childwith and then trying Ameastray,overwards and other peoplel NOTEC thatthat happens. While he interactionsare tring to o cause. I think it depends on how it says to me: Ot, likeee N, amazing, the word no anyway things. U something, I probably wouldsay a meeting, but it was alone yeah having in chasomeaday immediately aresand saying I just wanted o to know at Ye. Sa was offensive for this reasonorserior this reasonable. You know O beason, why OBM noice oyl Ta asRedecise, you K- I don't Presa. If that make me feel uncomfortable that made me feelthreatened or oothat was M insensstive. For this reason you know, being we carwhat the Breeson was. The last thing, upsite Yeu I can e Issotyou- canunderstand where you're coming from and D diffrtly Experienc Atre at somepeople. Actually I omy GOI Readin Manis at Ye. I A reason just didn't thinkwhat I was saying and would eclogize...

...others will be very defensive and youdon't Geto O don't get anywhere hat you can do is keep trying ith EFOR ithinkyeah iseee. So if yo been writing aout that a lot is Etin humisbout going into the officeabout is culture that you can filln at Realy. Good question: Cuewe Yeah is aGod, prestion thereare, all things I miss about the office, so I de Iefenseof belonging Fyou know you turn out and the team and they ask how youare, and you traskbot your weekends or your eavinings and y youparn so deist,and I do think that colloboration can work pretty well in in some it doesn'ten a I but Ko Trassis, a mom en the MA oper tea. You have something or you'rewalking pas an youre, a chap or something they fon. The eiterations aredefinitely something tdemis and then IAS saying tetinl pointing down aweanwy.They reeling Ereon Reale, I kind oflieo, aparty atmosphereon Friday. Oa is noOise, but Yemos is Ow, and I think I do. I do miss that Onin's ration eary Ni atthe weekend and you inIn together and e thin- is anything else othink it mostlyBA incidental communications. You have wit people tha more difficult to have s Timisat Hav, some of that Clie STARF,but it's not the same as just bumbing into someone and having a Chard, iththem yeah. What about you think I do'? Knowcbeidon'where I'm paidFOM IMI'm one thing so pre look down. I was in a corating Paceyeah because Ineeded to Gootheo. I just l leaving the house is really important. He maye juste change of seeing um a different environment, anseparating, work andhome. I think I' Get a ittle value. Afterthat I find it Qui and costophy I can and a bit draining if I'm just in thesame envirnment ord in time, and so I think, that's quite a past night. I Ithink I A had one aaye hundred percent where myundred OFI IW WO options. Goyou O go into an office and see people have a Char Y. I find it quite hard just being onvideo cools all the time. I think it is to Hart to sit down with Peope in Perso,and you know I'm quite crazy person who DNII bran soms and sof it. I think it s is nice to do together when you're in in aReem, and you can scruble on a board and and thoe kind of things. I I reallyenjoy just getting people together, an satal really nice. I think ipobly for mepersonally. I wouldn't walt that to go away completely. I think the key ismore about giving people for exibility Arounda, giving them options and cundof be gainle together from time to time and then giving them a space, an theGowane work from home insmswherever when they need to getahead to Andgo. You know Stabas and yeah, giving them more more opensaround when and where and how they were Ye. I Fort metion, Atacta fe coporationof when you've got an idea or Ojectnn the Bazel being in Rod together andlike peoebnwriting. These anpors thing that IDO miss that too nd g kind ofrings us to where we are weth with work. An mifeture of work on thinksanwr tosay, eeron whats Gongisei was because we've had the beast working ome from onexperiment around the world. I don't think Thwereo canplete hi wasgoing to see obody Si e on different personality, tied o Woki Stars Etcetera.I think it's about thinking how things can work in the future to get the besteverywhile, but it show me that...

...comepanies Ha ofic space manby less ofHispace, but it's not bout rows of Dat that facees, like cllaborations manseason. Why a aways a gin O Praseburieng more than it ias later hewas sitting doing r work. They can do like we arew when we lav out work. Doyou think that we need to do we have to do co? We need to be toget a fol, butif it seems that, like writing, something where Wa wo, I can do that.So think. It's going to Ri Tin, O Ou. We a require coloration wabetter whenyou're with people and when it o people to meet in an offace and howitbelonging meancomiand. I see what the things that can be done at home,andifferent hours, this een as well. That's the O, thingofhice culture noragain Noinris, but lo wos has been b rigid in the hours. You've got to GE aertain time, not heron squin sages at three and hes ginto eat the augest til.I five you with it. Being hard Tino around it ike how man things beimagined, reimagined, that it work forevebody and it can be LE exactlyit's not rodeen the marrags to death, but you're wors Wer, O by your onher yeare bt esed. We we took Yor, not paying fomte key for people yo an to on sem aspecific job and Giveus an output Saf, let say certainas elements of the world that will work better when you GT people together, aMay n Yo know where there is online or in person, then e meeting, and they canthey can connive, but the the othe they're kind of more deep work that youcan do any time anywhere. It just has to get done as long as I geft O soagain wore about stopping thinking. I gott have keep in the oer from nine toMytaeyou, know for three hours. Ofo People's heads might be elsewhere, werthey might be tired or then already in Desir interetin nothing's happening,whereas if you love them whenever they work, when thereareyready, O ane noser, no prisemen that heads in the right pride and that woillgive you a much better result, but I yeah it's about letting go it that idea.Well. This is how work ISEA so Baly in an office for night to five and ASE.You need this assay, everybody thut! You don't have to do that. We canreretink rem. Awwe can bring out these complaints of that o think. It's reallyinteresting. I think, brace that that's all ad and the government's drayertogeterybod but well FA to the office. Just so such a later understanding ofword t wors, Ataly, Lin, Wa work is life for people now and how the waypeople work has changed and how Hos'e lives have changed, and it's JustanyReady, owl of touch with Mose people, and I think and Al F. businesses needto stathink more about how keepislise how she work and how people were sothey can adopt to how he see things in the feature 'cause. It's also h t some of the things T. I can'tremember all o thee aw, some ofthe things are about anevery niw, leavingearly in the Alternan, an Lik. It's Ike, a I in about Tine Thas wated, when yourin always is a lot time. wased on you know, I don't know. If you're Bor, doanLi t round an Aothe J, you can waste a lot of time on thingsthat anno working, but actually, if you're doing a job, that you understandthe ow Pos of the company, the Midson Ras, what they're trying to do, and youwant to contribute to that and that's what you want to do, and you want toHout what you work as you can in them away again, nor can at waste time Oit's like for Meou woring. When you want to produce power and doing thattime is easbers, I mounge doing look down. That's I seem to do aote mostproductive things at certain hours. I didn't think t was the case o bouticease to at I a do ao in that time. In...

...the evening I annoy the morning, but it thin Tobea to to Tinso fo me. Ididn't really realize it was, and it made me think. Well all these timesthat I was woring offie. I mostly would have left by that, not always, but mostenlived by them. Soi Wasot, working in Themao, productive, Tim Ma and I' Turother be in the family, but Tafrim fringe resambals Sayng theythey aremoning Eson and they founer they were in the time they wuld have normallybeen commeting. That's like one of the Mose Productive Times. I think thattheythink it' about finding what work everybody in the warines for everyoneyeah and if he pus people back into Ha night, ofibobs an missing out an tatproductivity in that that Great Cret of energy in the muntivation that o yourwasting by sicking people on a train or SSENDING EM comin. Two hours later in Stationas,I toad I A generated Lisemal EU but results yeah factory, so basicl themessage to Difia Otcast ut CESIF. We need to break out of tha narrow.Mindsir of this is how things are done and no mo BOT SNOPOTO TA. We don't wantthat about itever again, an be bound Okat. Well, I dow very much listening, and this is t e, the first say o series to,and there are many more exciting absetes to come with, go some rety,great interviews, Li Ot with some Radis and people thathat's. Not just going tobe me and my token. Not People took Otfrom Radiam Pot, esal sor rat SanLitle, Tay, Jo, she does he good Ni, O Teya the Weel and I tin a took aboutdifferent ways that we come. We lege a work n do things differently, sothinking to no. In the meantime, you want to find out a more bot what we doand how you can. May I gess see an inclusion, morepopular business. You can find US watch this space. Don't Yo c we are on all ofyour favorite atial medfoms Werwatch thisspce, an weare onintern. As whatthis SKD P hyphen sve. You can find a sa by everything that we're doing anoh.We go loads of resources and information that you can take away. Teohelp you think about H, wellfase of frename that ER MIS on e I'.

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